Until Now

Twenty years behind walls
and time served
so I do me
forgot what it feels like
…the insides of flesh
so I rest
next to her…
afterwards
…in spin-mode
kinfolk
act plague-like
when I’m around
so I’m not
around.
A warm summer night
yet I’m cold
a bucket of sweat
yet I’m cold
my ribs touch
three months after
…a binge
high cheek bones
I never had
Until now
Until now
I could do about a hundred…
by now
it hurts to swallow
while insides rage
I protest…
…as I protested
…was always safe
until now
I see roses
next to dresses
next to kinfolk
who were plague-like
now I’m plague-like
until now
they seem to laud me
until now
they never knew me
until I
became a hymn!

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